Never surprised again
by Ms. Chevious
Summary: What happens when Blair tries her paw at potion mixing? Disaster, that's what! Extremely silly one-shot. Rating for mild swears.


Title: Never surprised again

Rating: PG-13 (for mild swears)

Anime: Soul Eater

Disclaimer: I don't own the anime/ manga Soul Eater. All rights go to the creator, Atsushi Okubo.

A/N: Extreme silliness for the sake of silliness. ;) It's my attempt at using more of the Soul Eater cast. Hope you enjoy it!

********

"Ah! Just one more ingredient and it'll be finished!" everyone's favorite witch-cat sang as she stirred a bubbling brew. "Heehee, I've never mixed a potion before. I wonder how it'll turn out, nya?"

As if on cue, the strange concoction began to glow a light pink. Blair's face beamed as she leaned over to get a better look. However, her face slowly fell as the mixture began to boil then steam, and in that instant, it exploded in a giant cloud of rose colored smoke right in her face. The entire living room was quickly filled with a strange, fuchsia gas as the girl hacked and grunted. Squinting her eyes, she tried in vain to fan away the smoke. Growing angry at her tireless efforts, she began to mumble a spell.

"Pum-pumpkin, pumpkin," she muttered before shouting, "Fantastic fan!" suddenly, a huge folded paper fan appeared in her hand. With both hands, Blair raised it up above her head before she heaved it down, sending all the choking mist whirling out of the tiny apartment.

"Humph!" the witch-cat grumbled, "Well, I'm never mixing another potion again! That wasn't fun at all!" Little did she know that her failed spell would have a much greater affect on people other than just making them cough hysterically.

********

The next day, Maka Albarn awoke with a splitting headache.

"Ooooh, my _head_…" the girl groaned as she reluctantly fell out of bed. Dragging her feet, she made her way to her dresser. The girl reached up to pull her long, blonde hair into its usual pigtails, but stopped dead in her tracks. Without thinking, she ran to her mirror. Eyes widening, breathe shaking, she stared at her reflection.

"…Aaaaahhhh!" she shrieked.

"What?! What happened?! What's wrong!?!" Soul half hollered as he slammed her bedroom door open.

"AAAAAHHHH!!" they both screamed in unison at the sight of each other.

"Maka! What the hell happened to you?!" the scythe sputtered while pointing at her.

"Me?! What about you, you bird brain!?" Maka retorted.

"Hey, I ain't no- aahh!" he yelled when he walked over to her side and got a good look at himself in the mirror. For somehow, both technician and weapon had both transformed into animals overnight! The once cool guy had turned into an albino rooster, while the once honor roll student had turned into a yellow mouse.

"_Not _cool…" Soul muttered as he studied the wings that used to be his hands, "So…just how did this happen? And what are we gonna do about it?"

"…I don't know." The girl replied, looking over her new paws. They were both silent for a moment, contemplating all their options in their minds. "For now, I think that we should just go to school like usual. Maybe Professor Stein or Shinigami-sama will know how to fix this."

Nodding in agreement, the two teens reluctantly went back to their normal morning routine. Even though they both knew that this day would be _far _from normal

********

It took longer for the two to get to school than usual. This was because Maka was afraid of getting pulled over if they rode on Soul's motorcycle. She said that it probably wasn't legal for poultry to operate motorized vehicles. Besides…his chicken legs couldn't reach the pedals. So they walked instead.

Once they got there, they both dashed to their homeroom. Well, more like Soul took off suddenly, flailing the way that only an excited chicken can, while Maka scampered behind him desperately trying to keep up. As they neared, Maka's new keen hearing picked up on a barrage of noises coming from the classroom. She was about to alert her partner when he swiftly fell over himself with a squawk.

"What the-!? A banana peel?!" the former cool guy grunted angrily.

"HYA-HOOOOOO!" they both heard a familiar voice roar as they turned their heads in the direction of the classroom.

"Behold the great Black Star!" the former ninja technician hollered as they entered the room, "If it's even possible, I am now even greater than I was before! And do you know why? That, little ones, is because I now have…A TAIL!!" He looked so pleased with himself perched up on Stein's desk, waving his new, blue tail around in the air.

"Hey! Not cool, man!!" Soul suddenly bellowed with rage, "Why the hell does Black Star get to be a tiger, while I'm stuck as a frickin' _chicken_?!!"At this, the aqua colored cat grinned ear-to-ear.

"Hyahahahah! That's because I'm the great Black Star! The one who will surpass God!" he carried on in his usual spiel.

"But I'm _way_ cooler than he is! _I_ should get to be the tiger, while _he's _the chicken!"

"I'm too amazing to be something as lame as a chicken."

"WHAAAT?!"

Maka only shook her head as she watched the two of them go at it, when she heard someone sigh from her side. She turned to her left and saw a huge black dog sitting next to her. Well, it probably only looked big because she herself was now so tiny compared to most things.

"Tsubaki-chan?" the dog glanced over to her, "So it is you. Are you okay?"

"Oh, yes, I'm fine." She replied, sighing once again, "It's just that I can't seem to convince Black Star that suddenly turning into animals overnight for no apparent reason is a **bad **thing."

"It's the same for us and this one." They heard a voice say, though neither of them could locate where the voice came from. "I'm over here." They looked, and were met with the sight of an extremely fluffy and grumpy looking black sheep.

"Liz-san?"

"You're a sheep, now?"

"No, I'm up _here._" She hissed, slithering up one of the ram's horns.

"Liz! I wish you wouldn't do that." The sheep snapped in a deep voice, "When you climb onto only one of my horns like that, you make us asymmetrical! Go back to lying in the middle!"

"Whoops, my bad." The snake apologized as she slid back into place.

Now that she looked, Maka could see that the ram's left horn had three odd white streaks across its surface. 'So, they persist even as a sheep, huh?' she pondered with a giggle.

"So…you _enjoy_ being a sheep, Kid-san?" Tsubaki questioned, changing the conversation.

"Heavens, no!" he retorted, "I can't even measure things to be certain that they are perfectly symmetrical anymore with these hoofs! No! I'm useless trash! I can't even measure the balance, nonetheless restore it now!" he began to sob.

"Uh, oh, here we go again." The reptilian weapon groaned, "Patty."

"Haaaaiiiii~!" her sister replied, popping out from behind one of the desks. Not only were the twins contrasting in their human forms, but also in their new animal forms as well. The eldest being a snake, and the youngest having transformed into a young pig, not that she seemed to mind in the least.

"Okay, this is _beyond_ weird." The blonde moaned.

"Maaaaakaaaa…" she heard a familiar voice whine for her. Instinctively, Maka turned to every corner of the room and sure enough, there lied the former devil sword meister. Upon further inspection, Maka saw that her friend had changed into a small, pink bunny.

"Aaaaawwwww~!" she cooed, "Chrona, you look so cute!" Thanks to Chrona's new all-over rose coloring, you couldn't even tell how much she was blushing.

"Oh, you're right! She is cute!" the two girls heard a few voices squeal. It was Marie and Spirit, Marie having turned into some sort of female ox, while Spirit had changed into a fiery red horse.

"Papa? Marie-sensei?"

"Maakaaa! Oh, you're so cute as a little mouse!" her father admired, which didn't please her at all.

"Hey, wait a minute." The oxen said, "Spirit, where's Stein?"

"Oh, oops." He whinnied upon exiting the classroom, leaving everyone but Marie slightly confused. When he returned, he was carrying a small, plastic fish bag with a small, very angry looking seahorse in it.

"S-Stein-hakase?" he didn't reply, but only glanced down at her.

"Whooaaaahhh" Soul and Black Star marveled in unison.

"Not cool, man."

"Yeah, being a seahorse is almost as lame as Soul being a chicken."

"Yeah, it i- HEY!"

"I'm a sea_dragon_." Stein corrected with a sharp glare, "And you better watch it, or I'll be tempted…_**to dissect you both**_**.**" They both gasped as they scurried behind Marie for protection.

"W-w-w-w-we're not afraid of you!"

"Y-yeah! Cool guys aren't afraid of anything, especially not something as uncool as a _seahorse_."

Boy, if looks could kill those two would have been knocking on heaven's door in an instant. For Stein gave them both probably the deadliest glower he had ever conceived in his life. And that was saying something. The three of them just stood there frozen, as pale as if they had just seen a ghost. Though to them, what they had seen was much, much worse.

"My, my, is everyone playing nice now~?" they all heard a familiar voice sing. They looked up; well all except the stunned teacher and boys, to see what was once the God of Death, was now a black, spiky monkey wearing his usual silly mask, though it made him look about ten times more ridiculous than usual.

At this point, everyone was thinking the same thing; that absolutely _nothing_ could surprise them ever again. Well…they were very, _very_ wrong. For in that instant, smoke clouds of all different colors poofed out of everyone as they all unknowingly transformed back into their human forms. At first, they were all shocked, but were quickly relieved when they saw their hands and realized that they were all back to normal. That is, until they further examined themselves to find that they were all stark naked! Before any words or screams could even be uttered, all the girls and boys ran faster than they had in their entire lives to the locker rooms, praying that they remembered to store an extra set of clothing.

********

Later that day, Soul and Maka returned to their apartment, looking as if they had just defeated a thousand Kishins in one day.

"Ara, welcome home, everyone! Was school fun?" Blair greeted happily. She received no reply, only looks of utter despair and depression as the two trudged toward their rooms.

'What's their problem?' the completely oblivious witch-cat thought to herself with a pout.

********

A/N: Pure and utter crack, I know. XD This was just an amazingly random idea that popped in my head the other day.

I based their animal forms on the Chinese zodiac because I thought I would get too much controversy over what people thought what animal each character should be if I based them on my own opinions.


End file.
